Conversation with some people made me realised I have been mimicking dad
My vision was blurred, overwhelmed by the feel of lacking sleep last night. As the silhouette of the trees came and passed, the sun went down and the streets were illuminated by vehicles when the car ran fast. For a second, everything seems like water painting.
Countryside highway, spotted cows, tiny houses in south England. I wish I could freeze it, frame it, save it, and share it with you papa. You would be the happiest person, of that I am sure. You found happiness in beautiful things, happiness cost absolute zero I was always told.
Papa, how are you? Do you think of me when you came back from a trip? Spending years being apart from you made me realise that I have grown up to be no one but a copy of you. I remember you admired lots of things in silence, pointing those things and tell me, 'look, that's beautiful.'
I have been doing the exact same things like what you did, and I just perceived today that we are, just alike.
These, I have saved it in my memory. As soon as the sun has set in England, I know you would be asleep in the southeast. I hope that I could send my memory to your dream and you will wake up lighthearted.
You can take the girl out from the island but you can never take the island out from the girl.
Missing the heat,
You'll be dying if you ignore your needs, and you're dead when you lose your hope.
I regretted that I turned down one's invitation,
I regretted that I still find myself crying of separation,
I regretted some phone calls I did not return,
I regretted that I let some words got me burned,
I regretted that it is already November,
I regretted why I find myself still sober?
I regretted that I did not see so many things sooner,
and listen to what drive me inside better,
I regretted that I met some people too late,
I regretted that I believed in fate,
I regretted that brother has to grown up alone,
put myself first being eaten up by addiction.
Most of all, I regretted that
the best thing's only visible when it comes to an end.
live it up,
As I walked the South West long road, the only spot that I look at was my walking feet, head full of thoughts of myself, plans, progresses, and achievements.
I Could not think of anything else that I did not realise I bent my head down. I did not realise how many things I could have seen along the journey. I did not realise how much I could have learned during the process. Yet, those chances I had missed.
A mirror reflects jealousy if one does not wear confidence, a walk without confidence leads you nowhere but back to yourself. Ungrateful and pretentious. Insecurity makes you settle for less? So why would we hold on to that?
A single espresso from an Italian restaurant woke me up in the afternoon. Yes, I looked straight to the street and passerby in front of me, took a deep breath. No, I was not born new, but I come out new.
All the source of sounds are teachers, and all the views are signs.
Cheers for November,